Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
