Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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