i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
