Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You can't special order awesome
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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