me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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