Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
