I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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