The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
