Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
