Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Randomize
