I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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