I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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