I hate your face
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
