By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
