walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
