she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize