I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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