Joe is yelling at the trees again.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
