shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
