6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
