Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
