Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
