Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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