did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
