Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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