I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
