oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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