half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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