there was a trapeze. enough said
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
