Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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