their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
