margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
