HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
