im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
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