I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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