i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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