you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize