so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
