so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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