i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
