I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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