theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
