READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
