Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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