You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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