i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
one two three fourrrrnication!
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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