Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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