You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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