I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
