just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
