Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize