What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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