my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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