We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
