That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
