Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
