i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
