Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
