just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
