I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
