I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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