once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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