the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
we're making bets on your personal life
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
