hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
