If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
