I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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