If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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